Like most of you out there, ever since my teenage years, I was looking for the secret recipe to relationship success. It was only recently that I realized that the way to relationship success was through a happy and positive self image. Most of you would be simply shaking your shoulders and saying, “Isn’t that obvious?” Well, it is. However, most of us lose sight of it . Consequently, in subtle ways criticize ourselves which we gradually internalize and it comes out in our relationships.
For me, it started off as feeling inferior to my partner in terms of looks and professional success. Gradually, I started resenting him for his success and blaming myself for everything that went wrong. Clearly, these aren’t indications of a healthy relationship, much less a successful one. Couple of years ago, it hit me that a negative self image was the root cause. Here is how I took baby steps to boost a positive self image and start my journey to relationship success:
A Full Stop to Shaming and Criticizing
For me, the first step came in the form of criticizing and blaming myself for everything. At one point of time I was so critical of every move I made, that I started feeling my partner also pointing out those glitches in me, even though he wasn’t. Self criticism reached a stage where I started believing I deserved the worst and even mistook compliments for sarcastic remarks. Blessed with a great partner, I started taking pride in what made me unique and special. From criticizing myself on my weakness to appreciating my strengths, I transitioned to a positive self image. This invariably helped my partner also look at me in a different light, leading to our relationship success.
Stopped Running After Perfectionism
All my life, I have been running after perfectionism. Naturally, that reflected in the way I behaved in the relationship. I was always stressed about looking perfect, having the perfect room, going for the perfect meal, to the extent that it became downright frustrating for anyone watching. I remember, on this one date, I was trying to make sure that we had a perfect date, but destiny had other plans. It started raining as soon as we stepped out, my hair got all messed up, the place we had booked had an electricity fault. Put simply, everything that could go wrong did.
Naturally, I thought the night was a complete disaster and actually broke down in front of my partner feeling I had disappointed him. He wrapped his arms around me, placed a kiss on my forehead and said, “The night is perfect, because I am with the perfect girl and nothing else matters!” It was then that I realized my aspiration for perfection was ultimately contributing to a negative self image where I was never satisfied with what I did. Fortunately, now, I strive for perfection, but I am no longer obsessed with it. Key to a positive self image and consequently relationship, sometimes, good enough is good enough.
I Am My Priority: No More a Partner Pleaser
Finally, the last leg to my positive self image journey came from the realization that I need to make myself a priority. For a long time, all I cared about was what my partner liked, disliked, his favorite food,among others. I started losing a track of my choices and expectations. While talking to a friend, it hit me that unless I am a priority for myself, I’ll never be one for someone else and that does not spell relationship success. Therefore, I transitioned to engaging in activities that made me happy. Trust me I feel I am growing as a person everyday. And, cherry on the cake, my relationship is blooming like never before.
Relationship Success Mantra: Main Jaisi Hoon Badiya Hoon!
A positive self image is all about appreciating yourself for who you are without expecting a complete overhaul. How this translates to relationship success is simple. A successful relationship is all about loving someone with all their quirks. However, if I couldn’t do this for myself, how could I expect it from someone else? Well, like me, you too should take a leap and boost a positive self image for a successful relationship. If you are single, these tips would help you in your future relationship success. To find that Mr. or Ms. Perfect, join WeHitched.com!